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Stuff Turkey Tell Yo Momma©
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-1 big turkey, about 15-18lbs
-1 ice tea size pitcher full of toasted bread cubes or stuffin chunks
(2 bags if ya ain’t makin it from scratch)
-2 sticks of butra
-1/2 cup each chopped:
mushrooms, red peppas, yella peppas, green peppas, onions, celery
-2 tablespoons olive erl
-2 onions (quartered)
-4 cloves of gerlic (peeled)
-a apple (sliced)
-a bunch of currots an peeled celery stalks
-spices (of course)
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stuffin’
startin wit the chopped onions, cook em till they simmerin in the olive erl in a
large pan. when they start to simmer in they own stuff, throw in all them
chopped vegables an add some spices to yo liking such as cayenne peppa,
paprika, crushed red peppa, etc, an let em cook till they soft. you now got
yoseff some delicious veggie johnsons! in a separate pot, burl about 3 cups of
watra. when it’s burlin’, add a stick of butra, an when that melts in, pour in
the stuffin an let it soak it all up an then fluff it wit yo fork. (you can add more
watra if it’s too dry). then, pour half of yo stuffin into a mixing bowl. then add
half of yo veggie Johnson mixture an stir it all together. then repeat till you
used all of yo stuffin an veggie johnsons.
tru-hurkey
wash it all off good. put it in a turkey bakin pan big enough for the boid.
pre-heat oven to 450 degrees.
important: (this is the part that make curtis get all queasy, an it might
happen to you too. an that’s ok, but it’s important to follow these
instructions.) erry turkey got itseff 2 cavities: one at the neck, the other right
in the middle. in these cavities you will find stuff, but it may not be whatcha
think. in the middle cavity you gwina find the turkey neck. remove it. in the
neck cavity you gwina find the gut-bag. remove that too. you don’t wanna be
cookin turkey wittout clearing the cavities! all of these parts is useful if you
wanna use ‘em. but if you is like curtis, you might could throw them away.
when the turkey is clean an the cavities cleared, take the other stick of butta
an hold it over a warm pan till it’s soft. rub it all over the turkey (you will
only use about a quarter of the stick). you now ready to start stuffin the boid.
do the middle cavity fuirse. wit a wooden spoon, put 2 spoonfuls into the
cavity an pack it in. then add a quarter of a onion an a clove of gerlic. pack in
another 2 spoonfuls of stuffin. add a coupla slices of apple, then pack in more
stuffin till the cavity is overflowing. repeat this process in the neck hole but
with smaller proportions cause you got less room to wurk wit.
when the turkey is stuffed an in the pan, cut off squares from the stick of
butra an place them all around the turkey. add some spices (cayenne,
paprika) to the top. now, lay those currots and celery stalks around the pan.
you should have plenty of left over stuffin an plenty of room at the bottom of
the pan. fill the pan up wit all the extra stuffin an throw in whatchu got left of
the apple, garlic, an onion too. cover the whole thing wit foil. go find
something funky to do for 5 hours.
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Got a question for Chef Johnson? Some feedback on the show? Wanna git yourself some dat HOT Johnson sauce? We wanna hear from ya!
ok@chefjohnson.com
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